Greetings, you have reached my own special little space on the Internet. As NegativePositive will tell you, "each one of us thinks he is somehow different... special... but most of them are wrong". In the next 30 seconds, I will prove to you that I, too, am wrong.

I'm still getting questions about what I look like. Here is a digital picture of me

which proves beyond any possible doubt that I would take better pictures if I had a digital camera.

Highly accurate picture of me So I have created this highly accurate picture of me using CorelDRAW 11 Graphics Suite. You can easily tell by this picture that I have eyes, one or more hands and two feets (not to mention an excellent command of English grammar). I wear glasses because I'm really a superhero and I don't want that annoying Louis Lane spotting my alter ego again. I can easily lift 400 pounds as long as its British Sterling and I can leap tall buildings as long as I'm inebriated. Now I know what you're thinking. What an awful picture. I am sorry, that the hand is cut off, but I reached the end of the page and I cant figure out how to make the page bigger. I've migrated from a very very old Corel. So you'll have to suffer with this highly accurate picture of me with its hand cut off. My apologies for any inconvenience this may cause. For your safety:

*This warning has been honestly stolen from Dave Barry (my hero).

There was a mouse at work today and the ladies in the office all got on their desks and made me go chase it. Now if you've ever chased a mouse, you know that those are fast little suckers. I've honestly no idea how cats do it. Arguably, cats hunt mice by waiting in one spot on the principle that the mouse will eventually wander back to the same place. The reality for humans is, if we were that lazy, we'd be extinct. It's not clear yet, how the cat manages to evade that particular aspect of Darwinism.
Picture of my feet as I cleverly stalk the mouse        Fortunately, I was willing to do a little leg work, and chased this mouse back and forth across the office as people screamed disconcertingly in my ear. You can see in my picutre that I am running. This represents me making a fool of myself chasing this mouse back and forth.

This reminds me of last summer. I was putting my clothes out to dry on the line and this hideous bee had the gall to land on one of my wet shirts. Like any brave, strong man, I fled for my life. After twenty long minutes of remote observation from the safety of the house, the bee lost the battle and I was able to emerge victorious.
       This story has no direct connection to the one about the mouse, but I'm particularly fond of a good digression. I really remember that day because the neighbour's daughter was out suntanning in her (adjoining) yard and a fly landed on her knee. I bravely glared at that fly for a long time before realizing later on that it had flown away 15 minutes ago. But I digress again.

My brilliant plan to lure flowers into a false sense of security Ok back to the subject: There's been a comment on my planned use of flowerpots for world conquest. To everyone that was part of that, there is a new plan. But I can't tell you what it is, or else I'd have to kill you. So the flowerpots will not be taking over the world. I repeat, put down your spades and fertilizer pouches, there will be no flowers conquering the world (which is good news for us allergy sufferers).

Anyway, I've just about finished discussing whatever it is I set out to discuss, so I'll be seeing you around just before I hatch the new plan.